Not that the internet needs another post about #Beyonce but I am compelled to share. This is long #sorrynotsorry
The first time I watched this #prettyhurts video was the night the album dropped and it made me cry. I shrugged it off as excitement for the secret album release or maybe delirium. I was a one woman show at the time and had been up tasseling all night, working towards a deadline. Anyhow, I just went about my business playing the songs out like everyone else.
Tonight, almost a year later, I watched the video again and had the same reaction. This time the tears were definitely real and the cry was UGLY. Its seems obvious now that certain imagery from the video would have this effect on me. The scene in particular where Beyonce herself is kneeling in front of a toilet… Something I’ve done maybe 1000 or more times in my life (if I had to guess a number). I am in the 4th year of recovery from bulimia, as I’ve mentioned here before.
The truth is, I often get lost in this world of skillfully applied makeup and perfectly edited images… occupational habit I guess. I find myself longing to be a part of some of the perfect moments that I see depicted on blogs and Instagram. The ones where motherhood looks immaculate, even effortless and every seemingly unemployed twentysomething girl has an endless supply of perfect outfits.
Its just nice to be brought back to reality sometimes. the pursuit of this kind of perfection almost killed me and I know that there are so many others still lost and suffering. Im inspired by this video and the woman who created it. Because if nothing more, I want to be a person that disrupts the falseness that even I sometimes contribute to and talk about something real.